


I Can't Explain

by shessocold



Series: I Told I'd Always Love You, I Always Did, I Always Will [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bathing/Washing, Best Friends, Bubble Bath, Crushes, First Crush, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Insecurity, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Friendship, Marauders' Era, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Teenagers, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 16:20:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13767891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shessocold/pseuds/shessocold
Summary: Remus tries to deny the obvious.





	I Can't Explain

Remus knows that Sirius is good-looking, obviously – the same way he knows that Peter is short and that James wears glasses. It's just the way things are. Peter barely comes up to Remus' chin, James is blind as a bat, and girls tend to get rather giggly and silly when Sirius walks into a room: it's just a fact of life, and for the first couple of years Remus doesn't really think about it often, or at all.

And then, abruptly, puberty comes and does a number on him. 

** 

He becomes aware of the problem on the first day of their third year, when Sirius shows up at King's Cross with a big scowl on his face and a younger boy in tow. 

“My brother,” he announces, without much enthusiasm. “Regulus.” 

“Hi,” says James, grinning down at the boy. “Nice to meet you. I'm James.” 

Regulus _does_ shake James' hand, but he looks even less thrilled about it than Sirius did about introducing him. Remus doubts that they'll see much of him, once they are at Hogwarts. _Oh well._

“And this is Remus,” says Sirius. Regulus looks Remus up and down in a way that makes Remus feel acutely aware of the relative shabbiness of his own clothes. They shake hands. 

“Nice to meet you,” says Regulus, sounding vaguely amused. He looks a lot like his older brother, which makes the whole situation even worse, because it reminds Remus that it is perfectly within Sirius' nature to show the same sort of casual cruelty – he just never does it to Remus, because they are friends (he _does_ spend a lot of time making fun of Snivellus' horrible old clothes, though – _at least mine are clean_ , thinks Remus, resolutely). 

“Behave,” says Sirius, in a dangerous voice, glaring at Regulus. Regulus gives him a sardonic smile. Remus, fascinated in spite of the awkwardness, keeps looking from one pale face to the other – he's trying to pinpoint what exactly, given two extraordinarily similar sets of features, makes Sirius so much more handsome than his brother: same nose, same mouth, same dark hair (Sirius' almost down to his collar, Regulus' in the same heavy fringe that Sirius had when they first met him), same sharp jawline, same eyebrows, same bright, beautiful eyes... 

Remus catches himself, with a jolt. 

** 

Afterwards, he tries to rationalize the whole thing to himself. Sirius has pretty eyes, so what? A lot of people do, many of them blokes. There's nothing to it. He even makes a point of paying special attention to the girls in their class, in order to try and find one that has prettier eyes than Sirius does (he ends the experiment after Lily Evans catches him staring from across a Puffapod-covered table and calls him out, loudly and none too nicely). 

“Evans is all right, Moony,” says Sirius, approvingly, as they walk back to the castle. “Not exactly to my taste, but you know, I see the general appeal.” 

James looks at him, baffled. 

“You 'see the general appeal'? Of _Evans_? The prettiest girl in the whole school?” 

Sirius lifts an eyebrow, amused. 

“Just because you and Moony fancy her, James, it doesn't mean that everyone else has to.” 

“I do _not_ fancy her,” says James, in outrage. “I don't want anything to do with a _girl_ , I'm not insane, I just don't see how you could possibly deny just how fucking _fit_ she is.” 

Sirius snorts. 

“Well, for one thing, she's much too short for me,” he says, genially, as he traps James' head under his arm to give him a noogie. “Good thing you're pretty much a midget yourself, my dear Potter.” 

** 

Remus doesn't think that he fancies Sirius, not really. He likes him very much, of course – they're best mates, and Sirius is one of the funniest, smartest people Remus has ever met – but he doesn't _like_ him in that sense, not in the same way James obviously likes Evans (despite his protests). He likes him a normal amount and that is all there is to it. 

Which is why he has no particular feelings about the fact that Sirius, who wouldn't know 'ridiculous' if it bit him on the arse, all of a sudden requires a fucking _audience_ when he bathes. 

“I have Quidditch practice, Sirius, I can't,” says James. “Read a book or something.” 

“I don't want to read a book,” says Sirius, towel in hand. “I want someone to talk to. I get bored.” 

“Take a shower, then – surely you can entertain yourself for ten minutes.” 

Sirius makes a face. 

“But I don't _want_ to take a shower, I like to soak. Moony, will you come along? Please?” 

** 

Remus fancies Sirius, there's no denying it. 

It's not really the fact that Sirius is naked under the bubbles (Remus has seen him naked more times than he could possibly count), it's more that they are alone together, for the first time since term started. The notion, somehow, makes Remus feel simultaneously very warm and very cold. 

“Ah, yes, this is much better,” says Sirius, stretching luxuriantly, his pale toes peeking out from beneath the foam. “Honestly, I could spend _hours_ like this... I should look into anti-pruning spells.” 

Remus, who doesn't trust his voice to sound normal, gives Sirius a silent smile. He can feel his heart fluttering wildly – once he stopped denying it to himself, about three minutes into the whole thing, the reality of his crush on Sirius hit him like a ton of bricks. He likes everything about him, down to the stupidest, most trivial details. He likes the shape of his nostrils. He likes how sharp his canine teeth are. He _loves_ his silly posh accent. He doesn't think he's going to make it out of the bathroom alive. 

_“Was it something to do with his lycanthropy?” “Oh, no, nothing like that, he merely went and had a heart attack at the age of thirteen because of how fucking_ lovely _his best friend's eyes looked. Very sad story, yes, yes, but probably for the best. Biscuit?”_

“Are you OK, Moony?” 

Remus snaps out of his reverie. Sirius has the indignant look of someone who has just realized that his babbling has gone completely unlistened to for quite some time. Remus grins, endeared. 

“Yeah, mate, sorry. You were saying?” 

**Author's Note:**

> Regulus Black on the outside: 85% Draco Malfoy, 15% pre-Battle of Hogwarts Percy Weasley
> 
> Regulus Black on the inside: 95% Sirius Black, 5% post-Battle of Hogwarts Percy Weasley


End file.
